Maybe next year . . .

I left the lab early today, that of course being a relative term, but had I stayed I certainly would have sustained the usual 1st to 2nd degree burns from handling a thruster that is still too hot; a situation that reeks of desperation though we’ll just call it “justified academic collateral damage”.

To be honest, the experimental stuff is not going so well these days due to a dizzying array of problems, but after 4.5 years and over 300 thruster tests I know my methods aren’t the problem. Rather “the problem” is the problem. The results of turbo hot temperatures and high voltages yield at best an awkward party with light beer and tequila and at worst a strange competition between a suicide note and a dissertation. But alas therein is the true problem - at some point I need to get on with my life - a sentiment shared by most rational humans familiar with my research. Others might have me continue to what end I know not but it would seem that the current trend in academia necessitates a “victory” at all costs neglecting the fact that there is often more to be learned during the buildup than a synthetic success. To that end, during my thesis proposal defense I suggested the concept of the Phyrric Victory:

A Pyrrhic victory (IPA: /’pɪr ɪk/ -) is a victory with devastating cost to the victor.

“The armies separated; and, it is said, Pyrrhus replied to one that gave him joy of his victory that one more such victory would utterly undo him”. (Dionysius 280 B.C. via Wikipedia)

What prompted this surfacing from the abyss? Three reasons: first, I’m clearly frustrated by the never ending war of attrition with the laws of physics and metuallurgy. Second, however this story turns out I want to document with some amount of posterity the pivotal moments in my life. And finally I need to finish stat or the one job I actually wanted will evaporate and thus the plight of Pyrrhus will come to fruition yet again.

What am I saying here? Not sure but I’ve had a lot of success with my research in the early days but things changed but now the hour grows late and the path has strayed further than anyone would have guessed.

Dear Advanced Vacuum Systems, in honor of the catastrophic failure of one of the pieces of equipment I desperately need to complete my PhD, I bring you a 2 minute primer on how to correctly size a friggen bolt so it doesn’t shear off and shoot large pieces of metal across the room:

(source)

Shear stress on a bolt:

The maximum shear stress theory ..The theory associated with Tresca and Guest.

This is very relevant to ductile metals. It is conservative and relatively easy to apply. It assumes that failure occurs when a maximum shear strength attains a certain value. This value being the value of shear strength at failure in the tensile test. In this instance it is appropriate to choose the yield point as practical failure. If the yield point = S_y and this is obtained from a tensile test and thus is the sole principal stress then the maximum shear stress S_sy is easily identified as S_y /2 . (ref to notes on Mohrs circle)..

S_sy = S_y /2

In the context of a complicated stress system the initial step would be to determine the principle stress i.e. σ₁, σ₁ & σ₃-
in order of magnitude σ₁ > σ₂ > σ₃..
then the maximum shear stress would be determined from

Maximum Shear Stress = Ï„ _max
= Greatest of ( σ₁ - σ₂ ) / 2 : ( σ₂ - σ₃ ) / 2 : ( σ₁ - σ₃ ) / 2 = ( σ₁ - σ₃ ) / 2

The factor of safety selected would be

FoS = S_y / ( 2 . Ï„ _max ) = S_y / ( σ₁ - σ₃ )

The theory is conservative especially if the yield strength is more then 50% of the tensile strength..

For the simple case of a tensile stress σ_x combined with a shear stress τ _xy . The design FOS +

FoS = S_y / ( σ_x ² + 4. Ï„ _xy ² )^1/2

For a case of a component with σ ₁ > σ₂ both positive (tensile) and with σ₃ = 0 then the maximum shear stress = ( σ_x - 0 ) / 2

Overall the JANNAF conference and the supporting week around it was pretty awesome.  It was nice to actually see serious technical data present rather than the usual cartoons and ambiguous plots.

We stayed the first night (Sunday) in the Denver Marriot where the conference was held – it basically looked like a Mega-MEEM except made of all glass rather than brick.  I went ahead and compiled a side-by-side comparison.

On Monday, there wasn’t really much happening at the conference so Brad took me up to Boulder to visit the labs at NIST where he did his post-doc.  I must say that was impressive.  As I’m beginning to understand, big science happens in small rooms.  There was some very crazy stuff going on there that I only have a glancing understanding of.

After hitting up NIST we ascended high into the Rockies. The following two nights we stayed with Brad’s old neighbor Rory who has a very impressive palace up around 10,000 feet.  The hospitality provided by him and his wife was very very nice and much appreciated.  On the first morning, I went for a run up there.  I started out by going up a substantial hill – needless to say 8 minutes later I was nearly dead.

Tuesday was the day of my talk.  Earlier in the day I had lunch with some movers and shakers in the field which I really enjoyed.  At my talk, I had good attendance and I believe I hit all the talking points I wanted to without sticking my foot in my mouth.  The audience was very receptive of the topic and had some excellent questions after my 25 minutes of power point digital carnage was over.  Brad said I “hit it out of the park” which was the positive reinforcement I was looking for.

After the talk I was sitting in the lobby waiting for Brad to put out some email fires when I was approached by a corporate head-hunter and invited up to a 20th floor hospitality room.  Having nothing to do for the next 20 or so minutes I went up.  Long story short, I ended up with a beer and the following morning I found out I won the door prize: a Garmin c330 GPS navigation system.  First time I’ve ever won a door prize and I’ll say I did pretty well on it.  On the way back to the place we were staying in the mountains, Brad and I took the rental car for a little cruise on some back roads.  Exchange of the day had to be:
Brad: “Can you still see the elk?”
Me: “As soon as something finally breaks off this side mirror I should be able to.”

Wednesday’s sessions at the conference were informative as well.  There is some very fascinating technology out there that I had no idea was around.  Not because it is super secret or anything but rather because I basically live in a box.  A very dark box.

That evening we were staying at the hotel again so we were able to go out on the town with some of the other conference attendees.  I was talking with the guy who will be my boss this summer at JPL and who is also an avid deanmassey.net reader, Rich.  The good news: I’ll basically have my own lab out at JPL.  The bad news: It is basically mine because no-one else wants to use it as it has no air-conditioning. Looking at the average summer temperatures in Pasadena it is going to be a scorcher.  My grand-advisor said “you’re skinny now, but when you get done there, you’ll probably weigh about 45 lbs”.  The facility was also described as “a very nice chicken coup”.   I’m not worried though, as long as they don’t have any strict dress code I’ll just work the entire summer with my shirt off hahahaha.  16 days until I leave and I honestly can’t wait.

On my way home on Thursday, I had a 4 hour layover in Minneapolis so I took advantage of the time and hung out with my brother.   I’m actually very impressed with Minnesota’s effort to try and be progressive enough to introduce mass transit.  I know it was an uphill battle but I’m glad they did it.  Anyway, I took the train from the airport down to the warehouse district and met Gregg there.  My layover planted me square into rush hour so that really was the only way that it could have worked.  It was good to see the bro again and I’m glad things worked out.

My Isle Royale trip is sort of on hold right now.  I thought I was going to have enough stuff tossed up in the air that I could escape for a week.  Unfortunately, stuff started falling back to earth before it was supposed to.  I’m going to try and reduce the duration of the trip and just do a Friday – Monday trip.  That sort of sucks, but it is certainly better than nothing at all.

I assume I’m not the only one who is growing tired of having the republicans tell the democrats or anyone that dissagrees with them that they just don’t understand what is going on in Iraq.  Be it the president, VP or any Joe Blow senator / congressman, the message is always the same: you’re dumb and clearly uneducated about the world.  Well then, please educate us elected official.  If they can teach a monkey sign language surely you can use small enough that I will understand what the true situation in Iraq is so then I too can continue to spread this knowledge.  Dickheads.

Anyway, I received the final nod to head out to Caltech to work at JPL for the summer.  I’m so damn excited if for nothing else than a change of scenery.  I won’t have a car out there but I’ve made arrangements to have my bike come with me.  It is about a 6 mile ride from the campus where I will be living to the lab I’ll be working at.  I sure hope it doesn’t rain a lot out there.

Speaking of bikes, I’ve been seriously looking for a road bike.  For the un-introduced - road bikes are the ones with the perilously skinny tires that enable you to exceed the speed of sound on big hills.  The motivation is that since the bike will be my primary mode of transportation it would be nice to not have to drive a tank around.  Though I love my current filthy whore of a bike, elegant and efficient it is not.  We’ll see how the money works out.  A decent new road bike is like $600 and good used one isn’t much less.

I just ran out to Walmart to get my usual fix of malt vinegar, tonic water and Lunchables and I couldn’t help but think that it smelled like fall rather then spring outside. I’m really hoping I didn’t loose track of that much time.

I gave my presentation to Brad the other day. Meh. We spent about an hour and a half building a laundry list of changes and man are there a lot. I was completely lacking any mathematical formalism which I usually omit since no one really likes equations during presentations. However, this time is different since this is quite a different audience than usual. So, I’ve been trying to include the math in there without chalking up the talk. The last half of the week though has been marked by constant distraction and I’ve been quite easily distracted. Alas though, I have a solution: Brad asked me to watch his army of Malamutes this weekend which means I get to stay in his and Karen’s beautiful place on Lake Superior. It is going to be a like mini vacation where I take in nature and “find myself”. Ok so really it will be me unplugged from the world with nothing but 4 walls and my laptop. Maybe I’ll even sabotage my truck so I can’t leave until I finish. But anyway back to how great the place is . . . if I were ever going to write a book, that is certainly where I would do it. I’ll take some pictures. Unless of course I end up as puppy chow for the dogs.

Next up: this crazy picture:

It is the crater left after a 5 year old boy fell 9 stories and lived. Wow. Story is here.

Next: religion. So, the pope, back by extensive evidence, has decided that hell is actually real and if you don’t stop screwing up, you’re going to burn for all eternity. What a tool. Does anyone really believe this crap anymore? (not the god thing, but eternal damnation - I’ll leave god alone tonight [your night off tonight god, but I'm sure we'll get back to hating each other tomorrow]). The whole statement just smacks of thinly vialed desperation. Garr you’re going to HELL for not selling your daughter into slavery sort of thing. This isn’t the Dark Ages anymore and people are probably far too cynical for the fire and brimstone lectures. Oddly enough, Pope John Paul II thought quite differently on the subject.

Next up: Hello Moto.
My old Nokia finally called it quits when I was in Chicago. Well, that would make it sound like it just gave out. Naw, I dropped it on the sidewalk for what had to have been the 1000th time and the screen quit working. All told, I imagine that phone traveled at least one vertical mile if you add up all the times I’ve dropped it, thrown it or lost it and accidently shot it across the room while whipping sheets flat (that was funny - bounced off the TV in a hotel room). So I replaced that relic that berely understood the concept of color much less the whole internet thing with a top of the line Motorola SLVR. It won me over when I can found out it recharges itself via USB. Not only that, but it has about a half of gig of storage that shows up as a hard drive on my laptop. Yeah, I backed up my presentation to my cell phone. What a world.

I swear someone has shaved at least 3 hours off of every day. It seems I never have enough time for anything. I’ll write more but here’s what the most immediate fire I’m tending is:

I have to give a presentation to my PhD committee next week where I lay out my entire Master Plan for them. Brad wanted a 95% complete draft of this in like 8 hours but I just don’t think I can do 95%. Editing the graphics is taking forever and after working on this monster for about 13 hours today, I’m ready to shoot it and anything that walks through my door. Oh well, I know I’ll have it done for Wednesday.

Yeah it is my birthday today and holy shit am I getting old.  But thank you to everyone for the warm wishes and sarcastic comments, I enjoy them both.  This year will certainly be one of change for me.  I will be forced to transition from a lowly graduate student which is only slightly above slave labor to a full blown real person with a real job.  I’ve spent eight years now in college and though I don’t fear the change, I’m certain it will take some adjustment.  I mean I could have accidentally killed someone (manslaughter) and been out of jail by now.  Yes I could wax prophetic all day but there is much work to be done.

Thus far it has been a great birthday since I was received some very unexpected results from what I thought was a failed test on Friday.  As it turned out, it was vastly better then I had hoped for.  In fact, it was quite near perfect.  Without going into great detail, I’ve been trying to press and sinter (take a powder and turn it into a solid piece) over the last few weeks.  I’ve been slowly creeping up my sintering temperature to get good strength as well as keeping things porous.  Anyway, here’s the picture of the latest result.  You can see that it certainly is not a powder and in fact is quite well bonded yet there are still large voids that permeate into the bulk of it.  Nifty nifty nifty.

MTU canceled classes today due to weather. The End Days is upon us, expect the Four Horsemen any second now. Hopefully they’ll bring some beer. Luckily work is still moving forward in the ISP Lab so perhaps there’s hope yet.

Wow, today was quite the random full day. To start things off, I scored an interview with Rockwell Collins yesterday at the career fair so 10:05am found me sitting face to face in the library talking with a recruiter. Just before that though, I ran into my old friend Dani just outside the interview room. I hadn’t seen her in years so we made some lunch plans. The interview went well though I wasn’t really being interviewed for a job they were on campus recruiting for. However, I think I wove a coherent enough story to land my CV in the hands of Rockwell Collins’ advance technology development team which with any luck will be contacting me in the not to distant future.

After the interview was over, I gave an in depth lab tour to my friend Phil who was in town recruiting for Boston Scientific. For some reason I do a better job explaining things when I have a shirt and tie on. Go figure. Once Phil bailed, Dani took me out for lunch down a Pilgrim River Steak House. It was really great to catch up with her and all of our mutual 1st generation college friends. Sounds like there might be a little DHH reunion in the making for this weekend.

With a food coma in full effect, she dropped me back off at the lab where hopefully I was going to get something done (other then walking around looking hot in my suit that is). I dropped in to talk to Brad quick while I still had my tie on and the first thing he said was “You go to court today?”. Heh, then he said that when I saw me all dressed up the first thing he thought was “Will the defendant please rise”. Lol, anyway I sort of gave him the quick rundown of how the next day or so is going to go. My die for some thruster parts was done so I lugged that 45 lb monster a 1/2 mile down to the M&M where I will be doing the powder metallurgy.

I hiked back to the lab, fixed a mass flow controller that I probably broke, did some paper work and waited for my molybdenum powder to arrive. Once it showed up I again marched back down to the M&M dropped it off an fleshed out tomorrow’s plan with Steve who runs the powder metallurgy lab. I’m sure you’re wondering exactly what is tomorrow’s plan . . . well it goes something like this:

Step 1: Crush the ever living hell out of the molybdenum powder

Step 2: Bake on 1,000 C for 1-4 hours until sintered

Tomorrow should be a fascinating day though since it I’ve never done any of this sort of thing before and if it works my research will be sitting in pretty good shape.